cosmopsis:

A dude just grabbed my purse and started running as I was boarding the shitbox that is the 6 train. For a second, I laughed and said to myself “Just let go Ashley, just let go…” but then I was overcome with Hulk-like anger and adrenaline and sprinted after him. I saw him run into another car, so I jumped in and said “Wanna give me my fucking purse back?” and he THREW it across the car and screamed “I DIDN’T TAKE ANYTHING!” and ran off the train. A really tired old lady picked it up and handed it to me.

This is the second time I have been robbed on the 6 train.
I have also been dry-humped by a stranger on the 6 train (not to be confused with the man who masturbated next to me in the movie theatre at Union Square).

And yet again, here’s the cliche that a woman said out loud as the robber ran off the train: “ONLY IN NEW YORK, HUH?”

I want to move back to Mississippi and sell watermelons off the back of a used pick-up truck.

I’d buy some watermelons from you.  I almost typed “I’d buy your watermelons,” but then I realized how inappropriate that would sound.